"Silence is Golden"

For Lent this year, I decided to try something a little out of the ordinary. That probably doesn’t surprise most people, considering many of the other… unorthodox… ideas I’ve had. Lent is a time of preparation for the Easter season, and it is a longstanding church tradition to do something above and beyond the ordinary during this time in order to grow closer to God. Many people choose to participate in the discipline of fasting during this season. For some people that means no chocolate or cokes, for others it means giving up cussing, for some it means not playing ping-pong (me, during my sophomore year). Others take the approach of spending more time in prayer or reading their bible more. Sometimes, however, we get caught up in this “What are you giving up for Lent?” question and we forget the purpose. This year, I decided that if I was going to fast from something during Lent, I needed to really challenge myself with something that would truly strengthen my faith, and would change my perspective or lifestyle even after Lent is over. I don’t know how the idea came about – it might have even started as a joke – but I had the thought that giving up talking could be a very meaningful challenge. Obviously, to take a vow of silence for 40 days in the world we live in now would be almost impossible, and needless to say, very impractical. But I realized that my schedule allows me a few days each week that I have almost nothing going on. Mondays in particular, I do not have class, I only work occasionally and could easily get off, and I have no meetings or other big commitments. So I made the decision to not talk at all on Mondays, unless I feel it is absolutely necessary. I felt that by doing this, I could learn to be a better listener and spend more time in prayer, talking with God when I can’t talk to the people around me.

After finishing my second Silent Monday, I have already been greatly challenged and learned some things. The first week wasn’t bad because I wasn’t around many people. This time, though, I was up at Wesley all evening and there were all kinds of conversations going on around me, and some people were talking to me, asking me questions and stuff, and it was really, really hard and somewhat frustrating to not join in. There were so many comments I wanted to make, or questions I wanted to answer. But I couldn’t really be a part of any conversation.
One cool realization I had is that even when some things seems really important for me to talk about at the time, in the end it is not a big deal that I don’t. Even though I usually try not to be one of those people that has to chime in with a comment about everything, sometimes I find myself getting into those one-up type conversations, where what I have to say is so much more important than anything anyone else could say. Not being able to talk is really humbling in that respect, seeing that life actually does go on even when I can’t make a funny remark or give my all-important opinion on something. I realized that some people feel trapped into silence in much the same way as I did. When people are constantly criticized or made fun of or just responded to negatively in general, they are less likely to join a conversation. I think I saw tonight a little of how those people feel, and it is not fun. I kind of realized that it is really important to be open to listening to everyone, no matter how dumb or nerdy or confusing they may seem, and that rejecting people like that based on their personality can do some serious harm. I don’t think we have to lay over and agree with everything everyone says and never debate any opinions or join in a conversation to make it more interesting… but I think we should realize that we don’t have to win every argument… we don’t always have to be the funniest person in the room… we don’t always have to have the last word… even when we have disagreements, we shouldn’t attack the people themselves in our conversations. I think our world has way too many talkers and not nearly enough listeners. Talking isn’t bad, but maybe we need to learn to listen better. I know I need to, and hopefully, these Silent Mondays will really help me do that better.
Another thing I have noticed from being silent is that there is so much noise all around us. Silence is beautiful, and I don’t know if I have ever even noticed it before. It is really relaxing to sit and reflect on life when there is not someone constantly talking to you. It gives me a feeling of being alone and separated from life, but in a good way, where I am free from the craziness that sucks me in, rather than feeling isolated. These days have been very challenging but also at times very refreshing. It has been and I am sure will continue to be an enlightening experience, and I am excited about the ways God is going to continue to teach me through these Silent Mondays.

“Be still, and know that I am God”
Psalm 46:10